Bloomington Invite

     Bloomington invite was so much fun!  I drove the van down with four other girls.  We got there at about twelve and divided off into work teams.  My group cooked some soup to give to some of the elderly people in the Bloomington church.  Then our group split into three smaller groups to actually deliver the soup.  I was the driver for my group because I had the van there.  We each got two different houses to deliver it to.  The first was a sweet old lady who lived by herself.  She invited us in and we chatted for awhile.  Then we drove to the next.  It was this couple who the wife had gone through a lot of medical issues.  The husband met us at the door.  He had a lot to say.  It was fun to listen to.  He talked about how him and his friends go golfing every Tuesday and he talked about how the Bloomington church was the "model AC church."
     Then we got back, had a speaker, ate supper, and divided into groups for group discussion.  The speaker was great.  I can't remember his name but it was a good message.  We had lasagna (anyone in my family would know why that makes me so happy).  The group discussion was fun.  Our group seemed a little quieter so I had the opportunity to share a little more and I tried my best to keep the conversation flowing.  After that we sang praise songs!  Janelle, Clayton, and I drove home in my van and we had some really good talks on the way home.  And that wrapped up a wonderful day!

Always Weighed Down

     Oh how I wish I could just walk away from all my responsibilities and just serve God.  We are told to "Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" but to take this literally would be frowned on in most situations.  I want to go to places where people need help.  I want to wake up early every morning and work from morning to evening doing the Lord's work.  But being one and a half years away from graduating college with a degree as an COTA, walking away would be considered stupid.  But when will we have time?  When will we be able to avoid obligations and just go?  People have spent their whole lives waiting for the right time.  When I graduate I am going to graduate with debt.  That means getting a good job and working for a year or so to pay it off if I am wise with my money.  Then what?  What about my career.  The longer you stay with a job, the more benefits you will usually get.  What if it seems like the smart thing to do is to keep working full-time?  And what if I get married by then?  Well that would ruin everything.  Submission is one of the main duties of a wife, right?  Well then I'll have no choice in the matter.  What if I married someone who didn't want to go out and serve?  Oh Lord, can't I go now?

Noise

     A few years back, when I was a very young Christian, I struggled.  I remember letting jealousy enter my heart.  I hated myself because of the way I looked.  But I also had pride.  While I was jealous of others looks, that was as far as I would look at them.  I didn't look any deeper than their skin and so I just assumed  that, that was all there was to them.  Sunday came around and I remember sitting in church.  I was angry at the world and at odds with God.  I didn't want to be in church or anywhere near God.
     When the service was over we sang a song and knelt down to pray.  It was like all the thoughts running through my head were at war with each other.  As if I  had five different people shouting out their opinions in my head.  I was so consumed with myself and my problems that I was blind and deaf to everything around me.  I could not stand the noise for another second.  I pleaded with God and it was like someone pressed the mute button.  God restored his peace in my heart.  He quieted the voices and forgave me for my wicked thoughts.  That was the first time God's mercy really struck me.  I was amazed that God could forgive even me and not only once but over and over.  I knew better and I still let pride and jealousy and selfishness enter my heart.  I was so humbled and grateful that as I knelt on the floor I cried.  I barely pulled it together before the prayer ended.  If anyone around me noticed I had been crying, they didn't say anything.